I am going to have to start this with some background. I posted this statement earlier tonight on my Facebook wall, "Sitting in this gym for what is the 4th or 5th game of these season and twice already this year fans threatened with removal. I remember what disgusts me about this town. For all the good that some of these people do, you'd never know it from watching a youth sporting event. I will NEVER miss this!" A friend followed up with this, "Prayers they find the right heart and attitude. I remember being in that place - in my heart - when my kids played and I wasn't happy with a call. I hope I never let my emotions get the best of me and made myself look foolishly rude at games - and if anyone thought so, that they forgave me for it! Sometimes when it comes to our kids, we become so blind to the fact LIFE ISN'T FAIR & sometimes neither are other teams, games or referees, so learn a POSITIVE life lesson and move on s BETTER person. Sorry, I'll get off your soapbox, just had to join you for a minute!" Rather than put a long rant on Facebook, I felt I should write it out here.
I think it is well known, that I speak my mind, but I don't think yelling at the refs for a bad call does any good. The referees after all are only human and very rarely are they really "out to get you". However if you are going to berate them for every single call or missed call, they are going to respond as humans. It really isn't hard just give them a break. Do we really think they make bad calls on purpose? I mean really, do we? I don't. I don't think that at all. They missed it. Is it possible they didn't see it? I can hear some of the fans now. "There is no way he didn't see that" "that was right in front of him" "is he blind?" Here is my question, have you ever raised a two year old? Did you know every single thing they did and touched that day? These two or three referees are on the floor with 10 players. These 10 players are teenagers and let me tell you, teenagers are good at hiding things if they need or want to. They can't see everything. They can't. They are human. Give them a break. Fans have a much better vantage point of the game, the referee is on the floor with all the action. Imagine the legs and arms and things move in your line of sight. The fans have a much better view. We have the advantage of better angles. Remember all those high school math classes? Yes angles are important. Just because it didn't go our way doesn't make it a bad call. I have never heard some one stand up and yell that their own team was walking or fouling when in fact, they were.
It absolutely serves no purpose to get that upset over something so trivial anyway. Anger begets anger. In all of this it is as though we have left out the most important part; the kids. These kids out on the court and the ones in the stands are learning by watching you. Do you feel good about what you are teaching them? This is the time to learn about teamwork. Take advantage of this opportunity to learn how to rise above adversity. When you think it is a terrible call, keep your mouth shut or encourage the kids. We are so busy being mad about the call, we forget to encourage the kids to do their best. I started my own study of sorts years ago. I was watching the crowd and the reaction of the kids on the court. I would then start trying to pump the kids up before negativity would start. It changes their whole attitude. You can watch it and see it all over the kids faces. When the kids were being encouraged they had so much more hustle. They had more life in them. The crowd would change and be less positive and you could literally see them deflate. Life is hard enough. Teach our kids right. Teach them to take what they are given and do their best. It doesn't matter the call. You can ALWAYS do and be your best. WE, as adults, should always promote that.
I won't say I have never come out of the stands, because that would not be true. I know I have at least twice. Once was with a coach and his behavior was way out of line. It never happened again. The second time it was a referee and coach situation. The referee had threatened to throw me out the night before during my son's game and the next day he was taking it out on my daughter verbal. I didn't tolerate that. She was 12, I think a the time and that wasn't the lesson I wanted her to learn that day. Those are mine and I own them. I am not proud of them, but would probably do pretty much the same thing. I don't yell at refs like I did the one that took it out on my daughter the next day. I don't do that, because like me, they are human. They can be vengeful, even if they shouldn't be. So it is always best that I keep my mouth shut, unless I am saying something encouraging.
