Torn in so many directions!

I am so torn, I cannot collect my thoughts.  I can't make a good train of thought.  My brain is a cluster of single thoughts, even I don't completely understand.  An old friend lost her mother and I lost an old friend from high school.  It is great loss for our small community.

The thing about loss, there is never a right thing to say or do!  No perfect way to remember or to honor.  We just do it in our own way!  A way for us to heal and honor our friend!

Just another day!

So my family is on a quick get away.  My husband and I are sitting on the balcony enjoying the fall weather.  We have a beautiful view of the lake and the hilly country side.  I am on the computer and he is reading from a law book for his class this fall. We are just enjoying the morning.   Our condo is on a  steep hill facing the lake and the front of the condos below. From our chairs, we are periodically watching the kittens  playing below.  They are running up the tree and chasing each other as kittens will do.

Two men with a load full of stuff including backpacks, ice chest, and numerous other items come out of a condo below ours.  Our balcony faces their porch so we have a great view of everything they are doing.  We also have a great cover because we can watch and it still looks like we are doing our work :)   They struggle with a few things get down the five steps that are there and finally get all situated and on there way.  My husband turns and looks at me and says, " They must be gay!"  I know a frown came over my face because all I can think is how did you get that answer from what we just saw?  The conclusion I came to was nowhere near that!  How does that Happen?   What in the world?

Ten minutes later, I hear the door open to the condo below.  I look up and see two women.  I turned to him and said, "Look, they stayed with two lesbians", as two women walked out the door.

IRONIC!

Just So Sad Today

I am wondering if I am the only person on earl who as woke up and thought "what in the world happened to my life?".  I am not where I want to be.  WAIT!  Where do I want to be?   I can tell you it is not here.  I have so much love to give and it is being wasted, withering away into nothingness.

I am in my 40's and my grandmother in her late 80's is in better shape than I am in.  I have been to the doctor so many times in the last year it is ridiculous!  I have been to a Gastroenterologist, Cardiologist, Audiologist, Otolaryngologist, and a Nuerologist.  Ummm who did a leave out?  I have to plan my days around a nap.  It is really making me cranky.   We are treating for migraine and Periodic Limb Movement Syndrome now.  Not seeing the progress I want!  Ironic!

Here are a list of symptoms:
tingling on left side of face
headaches for last couple of months mainly on left side
lesion white matter right side of brain
loss of memory concentration
Sleep study showed NO REM sleep
and Periodic limb movement of 50 times an hour
Chest Pain
myalgia

I will quit complaining today and head to do something way more productive.  It is a beautiful day and God is good!!  The birds are chirping and I saw two deer this morning on my walk.  :)